My Son

The watch-cap is coming along. I scrapped my original idea and am now doing it in the round. Playing with yearn and using a simpilistic stich gives you a lot of time to think. My son is only seven, but here are some truths I would like to teach him before I die.

1. While on a road trip, get the wide mouth Gatorade. You can piss in this and keep on going.


2. On that same token, get a pistol and a cell phone. You will see some crazies on the the road

3. Do not, EVER attempt to rationalize with her. That’s a losing battle

Just apologize, you may never have any idea what she’s pissed about. Don’t worry, you’ll never get it

4. There is NO such thing as “just the tip”

5. It is extremely important you watch your mother while she is cooking. This will ensure you eat right while your friends are eating ramen.

6. Buy the book “100 ways to cook ramen”

7. Jean’s can last weeeeeeks without being washed. But when something says “dry clean only” they’re friggin serious

8. Your car is your best friend. Take care of it

9. Never pass out first. Its okay to get blitzed, we’ve all been there. We’ve all danced to ”I’m every woman” half nekkid on a table top,.

10. Read a friggin book. Women dig it

11. Learn how to decorate your home. A couch and a tv is not decorating. women DEFINITELY do NOT dig it.

12. Listen to her. I mean reeeeeally listen. It may sound mundane, and silly. But the answer to “WTF is her problem?” is in there somewhere. This will save you from it being, “your fault”

13. The perfect spiral is found in the fingertips, look around, move in the pocket. If you see a large man running towards you, move out of large mans path.

14. TP. This is something your you won’t realize till you’re older. This is one of those things that in compromise will bite you in the butt. Literally. Spend the extra cash, it’s worth it.

15. Women notice if you’ve never used your stove.

16. Fill your friggin fridge with real food.